....and then I found myself chanting!

So I was standing by the side of the woodland, leaning on the rake. The rain was in the wind, and the wind, it was quite strong. Buffeted by the wind and rain, I stood looking out across our front field, waiting for Lester to come and join me, the task in hand being the picking up of the various detritus left over from the last flooding which had been gathered up into a heap on one side of the field, with the fencing wire being intertwined with  old grass and soft twigs. Should another flood come, this detritus would act as a wall against which the flood water would push the fence completely over.

I have been in quite good spirits lately, although the time of the year always has a slowing down effect on me, which is not a bad thing because I do get to have a rest. I am a naturally busy person, and push myself too hard. Sitting doing nothing is something which comes hard to me. But yesterday I found old memories coming up, triggered by a particularly unhappy memory of when I was sixteen. I am not going into what that memory was, but as it popped up into my head I felt a swathe of emotions wake up in regards to this memory. This is called 'clearing', when a situation happens in your life which you do not deal with properly at the time it happens, and so the experience made by the events of the situation become locked into a portion of the mind. You think that you have forgotten, but you have not. And that unhappy situation which you have buried will colour your life thereafter, but you don't know that it is doing so, but it does.

So this particular memory erupted suddenly, bringing with it other memories which were coupled with it. I found myself angry, hurt, even yelling at the associated people held within that memory. For three days this went on. At first I pushed the memory away, not wanting to be reminded of that unhappy time, but still it kept coming at me. I grew tired, I kept wanting to sleep, I lost energy. But still that memory kept being brought into my mind until I eventually let myself go into that time of that memory. It was painful. Two people coming at me, one from left, one from right, and each slapping me on the face with the palms of their hands at the same time. I ended up collapsed on the floor. I was sixteen.

I did not ask for this clearing to happen. As with all times of clearing out the cupboards of the mind, it happened when it was needed to happen. Clearing is necessary if you are to be a balanced person, to be as you were when you were born, clear of all blockages to the mind, blockages which are put during your years of growing up, of the years of being an adult. Blockages represent an emotional pain which will create pain of the body eventually, because the energies of the body will become poisoned by the attitude of the mind, and the more supressed these memories are the more harsher the attitude of mind will be.

We are a product of our past. Everything which has happened to us creates us in the now. Good memories create a happy us, not so good memories we do not want to remember, so we stuff them away in the cupboards of our mind, and there they will fester, giving us problems although we do not know that they are doing so. Times of clearing opens out these closed cupboards so we can deal with the associated upset and pain, which is not an easy thing to do, and can take days. Tears, anger, rage, all these can happen as the process of clearing takes place. It is a brave person who can do this for themselves. But if the process is stuck to, and the memory is retrieved from the cupboard and relived, and the pain worked through, then greater well-being of self will follow.

Anyway, so there I was, standing by our woodland on a wet and windy day, leaning on my rake, thinking of nothing much, just patiently waiting for my husband, and all of a sudden I heard a chant start to happen, and then I found myself voicing the chant out loud. Not only that, but I found myself using my rake as a tool to give the chant rhythm. The chant was of an American plains indian. It was as if I had become something like a medicine man, chanting with a power, and I could feel that power. This went on for some minutes.

And then 'You'll never walk alone' was sung to me. ('When you walk through a storm hold your head up high'), etc....., and then a bolt of energy went from top to toe along my spine, and then I felt a rush of energy from my lower body which went down into the ground.

Meanwhile, I continued to be buffeted by wind and rain. Lester appeared, and we got on with the work of picking up the debris.

But I was properly stuffed for the rest of the day. I had no energy to cook. I had no energy to do anything. I even fell asleep at my computer, after which Lester sent me to bed. I slept for three hours, waking up muggy headed and still not in my right self.

This morning I feel lighter. I await with interest to see what this recent bout of clearing has produced in me.  Ah well, I shall let you know what happens as this becomes sorted out as well.

So why would I let myself go through the re-awakening of an old unhappy memory? Because it stops me from being an entire person, one who is balanced, one who stands strong, one who has learnt their life lessons as given to them by the Universe, one who can channel the energies of the Universe to a high degree, one who is able to connect with their destiny, one who can lay to rest all anxieties created by what has been in the past.

It is like having a medical intervention, with the body needing time to heal and get itself right again. And so it is with the clearing of the mind. Always there will be a few days of feeling tired, not well, without direction, etc..., but it will pass, and then a big step forward will happen. What that is this time remains to be seen.

So, my friend, should you find an old unhappy memory coming into your mind, ride with it, don't push it away, let yourself revisit the time when that memory was laid down, shout out, punch a pillow, and cry your pain through. It is worth the effort. You will feel happier, you will feel stronger, you will feel wiser, and you will feel more connected to the Universe because your energies will be purer.

Bless you. This has been a long read, and thank you for sharing my recent 'clearing' experience.

Vx

...and 'thankyou' to the Universe for sending in a spirit guide to give me a chanting session, and also for singing to me 'When we walk through a storm, hold your head up high', and also for getting human friends to organise me into playing the organ for a church service last Sunday, and for the words of the sermon to be about 'letting your voice be heard' which is extremely relevant to me at this time. 'Keep going' that is what the Universe is trying to tell me!