....and then I found myself chanting!

So I was standing by the side of the woodland, leaning on the rake. The rain was in the wind, and the wind, it was quite strong. Buffeted by the wind and rain, I stood looking out across our front field, waiting for Lester to come and join me, the task in hand being the picking up of the various detritus left over from the last flooding which had been gathered up into a heap on one side of the field, with the fencing wire being intertwined with  old grass and soft twigs. Should another flood come, this detritus would act as a wall against which the flood water would push the fence completely over.

I have been in quite good spirits lately, although the time of the year always has a slowing down effect on me, which is not a bad thing because I do get to have a rest. I am a naturally busy person, and push myself too hard. Sitting doing nothing is something which comes hard to me. But yesterday I found old memories coming up, triggered by a particularly unhappy memory of when I was sixteen. I am not going into what that memory was, but as it popped up into my head I felt a swathe of emotions wake up in regards to this memory. This is called 'clearing', when a situation happens in your life which you do not deal with properly at the time it happens, and so the experience made by the events of the situation become locked into a portion of the mind. You think that you have forgotten, but you have not. And that unhappy situation which you have buried will colour your life thereafter, but you don't know that it is doing so, but it does.

So this particular memory erupted suddenly, bringing with it other memories which were coupled with it. I found myself angry, hurt, even yelling at the associated people held within that memory. For three days this went on. At first I pushed the memory away, not wanting to be reminded of that unhappy time, but still it kept coming at me. I grew tired, I kept wanting to sleep, I lost energy. But still that memory kept being brought into my mind until I eventually let myself go into that time of that memory. It was painful. Two people coming at me, one from left, one from right, and each slapping me on the face with the palms of their hands at the same time. I ended up collapsed on the floor. I was sixteen.

I did not ask for this clearing to happen. As with all times of clearing out the cupboards of the mind, it happened when it was needed to happen. Clearing is necessary if you are to be a balanced person, to be as you were when you were born, clear of all blockages to the mind, blockages which are put during your years of growing up, of the years of being an adult. Blockages represent an emotional pain which will create pain of the body eventually, because the energies of the body will become poisoned by the attitude of the mind, and the more supressed these memories are the more harsher the attitude of mind will be.

We are a product of our past. Everything which has happened to us creates us in the now. Good memories create a happy us, not so good memories we do not want to remember, so we stuff them away in the cupboards of our mind, and there they will fester, giving us problems although we do not know that they are doing so. Times of clearing opens out these closed cupboards so we can deal with the associated upset and pain, which is not an easy thing to do, and can take days. Tears, anger, rage, all these can happen as the process of clearing takes place. It is a brave person who can do this for themselves. But if the process is stuck to, and the memory is retrieved from the cupboard and relived, and the pain worked through, then greater well-being of self will follow.

Anyway, so there I was, standing by our woodland on a wet and windy day, leaning on my rake, thinking of nothing much, just patiently waiting for my husband, and all of a sudden I heard a chant start to happen, and then I found myself voicing the chant out loud. Not only that, but I found myself using my rake as a tool to give the chant rhythm. The chant was of an American plains indian. It was as if I had become something like a medicine man, chanting with a power, and I could feel that power. This went on for some minutes.

And then 'You'll never walk alone' was sung to me. ('When you walk through a storm hold your head up high'), etc....., and then a bolt of energy went from top to toe along my spine, and then I felt a rush of energy from my lower body which went down into the ground.

Meanwhile, I continued to be buffeted by wind and rain. Lester appeared, and we got on with the work of picking up the debris.

But I was properly stuffed for the rest of the day. I had no energy to cook. I had no energy to do anything. I even fell asleep at my computer, after which Lester sent me to bed. I slept for three hours, waking up muggy headed and still not in my right self.

This morning I feel lighter. I await with interest to see what this recent bout of clearing has produced in me.  Ah well, I shall let you know what happens as this becomes sorted out as well.

So why would I let myself go through the re-awakening of an old unhappy memory? Because it stops me from being an entire person, one who is balanced, one who stands strong, one who has learnt their life lessons as given to them by the Universe, one who can channel the energies of the Universe to a high degree, one who is able to connect with their destiny, one who can lay to rest all anxieties created by what has been in the past.

It is like having a medical intervention, with the body needing time to heal and get itself right again. And so it is with the clearing of the mind. Always there will be a few days of feeling tired, not well, without direction, etc..., but it will pass, and then a big step forward will happen. What that is this time remains to be seen.

So, my friend, should you find an old unhappy memory coming into your mind, ride with it, don't push it away, let yourself revisit the time when that memory was laid down, shout out, punch a pillow, and cry your pain through. It is worth the effort. You will feel happier, you will feel stronger, you will feel wiser, and you will feel more connected to the Universe because your energies will be purer.

Bless you. This has been a long read, and thank you for sharing my recent 'clearing' experience.

Vx

...and 'thankyou' to the Universe for sending in a spirit guide to give me a chanting session, and also for singing to me 'When we walk through a storm, hold your head up high', and also for getting human friends to organise me into playing the organ for a church service last Sunday, and for the words of the sermon to be about 'letting your voice be heard' which is extremely relevant to me at this time. 'Keep going' that is what the Universe is trying to tell me!

Calling to the girls

We have two rottweiller girls puppies. They are now nearly a  year old, and lovely gentle creatures, unless they are having a romp which can sometimes get quite rough. But they are quiet by nature for most of the time.

Yesterday they went away, took themselves off, went for a jolly romp, who knows where, we did not. We searched locally for several hours, but eventually stopped. They were nowhere around, of that we were sure. With heavy hearts we thought them gone for good.

And then it came into my mind to light a candle for their wellbeing, and to hope that the Universe would bring them back home. I coupled that with mind calling to Maz, the more sensitive of the two girls, and the one who visited me in my dreams a while ago.

So what I did was focus first on visualizing her sitting beside me having a loving, then I felt my mind do a connection with her mind. And then I put across the thought to 'come home'. I kept repeating this, but not wilfully, as in demanding her to return, nor did I show anger towards her and her sister for running off. I just let my thoughts stay soft, repeating 'Come home, Maz, come home'. And then I felt her turning round, hearing me. I did not do the same with Blue. I don't think I have the same mind connection with her, but I didn't try anyway. I wish I had done.

I kept busy for the rest of the day, then night came. Late evening, and nearly bed time. A bark sounded outside. The girls were back! It was nearly 10 pm. They were as pleased as anything to be back, and so were we. But it was Maz who seemed the most upset by her outing, and needed a lot of hugs to settle down. Blue went straight to bed.

And now Maz has become a changed dog. There is a greater energy between us, a bonding. Perhaps if I had talked to Blue in my mind, then there would be a greater bonding between her and me, but Blue is very much a free spirit, and it would have been her who encouraged Maz to go out into the World. I need to work on the energy of Blue, to bring her closer to us. Perhaps this would stop her need to go away.

Mind talking often happens, but not initiated wilfully by myself. What normally happens is that the Universe clicks on the link between me and somebody else, and then streams through whatever words are needed to help that person along their pathway. This was the first time I had made a mind connection with any other living soul. I would never make a mind connection with another human being. I could, but it would feel like manipulating that person to do my will, and that is not the right way. Sending out healing thoughts is the right way, mind connections are not.

So the girls are home, and this morning I remembered to thank the Universe for bringing them back safely. Last night I was too tired to do so, which was remiss of me as I then went on to have a bad night's sleep, which could have been avoided if I had taken the time to thank the Universe and clear all negative energies away from me, which had been encouraged to build up around me by our concern for the girls. Other things which happened during the day also contributed to the stress, such as a neighbour visiting who had flat in energies, an incoming email which had been upsetting,  and one of our sheep who was found to have twisted a strand of wire round both of her back feet which had cut circulation to one foot. Just one of those days which were busy with difficulties and me not making time to reiki each situation as it came along so that they did not build up so much stress that  my energies started going down a hole.

People have often said to me that it must be wonderful to be psychically sensitive, and to often have close communication with the Universe. I would agree. But the downside is the need to pay close attention to those specific energies of mine which allow this connection. Sometimes I don't. I know that I have written about this before, and no doubt I shall be writing it again in the future.

But, on the upside, mind connection brought home our girls.

In love and light

Vx

Mega strops, and a man makes a surprise visit.

It has been twenty seven days since last I wrote. No excuse, other than that I have been busy getting Aspects of Self sorted out, which is no excuse really, but sometimes the effort of getting words out of my  head is hard work, or laziness, or feeling too stressed to concentrate for longer than a minute, or letting other things get in the way. But to be fair to myself, it has been a trial of a January, and I have found myself stretched from here to there and back again.

For instance, I had a mega strop yesterday about a neighbour who was being neglectful of her animals, and was expecting us to help her out so she could continue her minimal effort towards looking after them. Her attitude sent me into a frenzy of a temper. I was stressed out anyway, and she sort of drove me off the edge. Exasperated by her attitude, already stressed because of other things which were happening here, so in a high angst and in a most unladylike manner I shouted and hollered my frustrations into the air , which was completely opposite to what I should have done, which was to spend a few minutes asking the Universe to help her be a better person. I am ashamed to say that I completely forgot that I am supposed to be a healer, and absolutely fell out of the saddle in regards to channelling love and light to all.

So today I had to repair the damage which I thought I might have caused her, thinking that some of my stroppiness might have settled itself around her, which would make her even worse in herself than what she already is. But the words were given back to me, from the Universe, that I had not caused her any harm, for which I felt greatly relieved. So I did what I should have done, and channelled reiki for her soul, that her soul would be given the energy to conquer her lower self, so that she may start to live according to her higher self, and therefore find a better balance of self within herself. I felt better for doing this for her.

And yesterday I was reminded by a friend that the Universe does not give us any situation which we cannot cope with, after I had another strop (but only a little one) about the flooding which we are being subjected to by the very full up river which runs alongside our land. We had a spate of floods this time last year, and was told by locals that 'never in living memory' had the land been so flooded. And then, two days ago, up came the river again, and this time the flooding was worse than last year. It was hard not to question the Universe as to why they had brought us here. It was hard to stay upbeat about it all as we watched the water come closer and closer to the house. But we did not flood, and I did remember to thank the Universe for giving me this opportunity to stay strong and not panic. Actually, that is not quite right, because I did have a few wobbly moments as the river got closer and closer to the walls of the house.

Today someone came visiting. He must have been passed over, because in my head did he arrive. Not sure why he came. Only met him twice, and both times he was not particularly friendly. But I think he was 'doing the rounds', and settling old debts. I asked him why he was visiting, and he said that he had put a hex on me. Now that, to me, sounds not quite right, as all he did was stare at me when I met him, and not say too much, and what he did say was a little on the sarcastic side if I  remember rightly. And putting a hex on someone sounds like putting an actual spell on them, sort of. Oh, he has just said, "I didn't help you as much as I should have. I made it difficult for you to channel. I knew I was doing it, that is why I have come.... to say 'sorry'."
"So why was I told earlier on that you had put a hex on me?"
" Because I was in the dark with myself, and my attitude towards you slid a dark energy over to you."
"Do I still have that 'dark energy' with me?"
"Yes, it is tucked on to your left shoulder and creates a barrier between you and the Universe. Not all the time, though. Just when you are tired. I am sorry. I did not know what I was doing. I did that to a lot of people, and now that I am passed over I am 'doing the rounds' as you say, to tidy up what I have done. I am so sorry. The dark energy will leave you soon."
"What do I need to do?"
"Light a candle tonight, before you go to sleep. Go to bed early. Think of the candle as you go to sleep, think of yourself as being 'washed and clean' along the back of your shoulders, and I will do the rest. I go now. I do not visit again. Think of me with kindness, if you can."

Crikey! And all I thought I was going to do was write a blog about getting stroppy with a neighbour!

Anyway, bye for now. I need to go away and think about what the man has said. I didn't ask for a name because I was too busy writing down what he was saying to me, but I do now remember him quite clearly. This was years ago, when I was in my late thirties, and just starting to develop mediumship. I was a trainee speaker at a Christian Spiritualist Church meeting in Maidstone, Kent, England, and I do remember him staring at me in a fixed way when I was trying to channel, and I remember how I kept losing the channelling link, but put this down to my inexperience. I only spoke at two meetings. I think my way of channelling for the meetings was not quite what the organisers of the church expected. I found this a lot with the Christian Spiritualist movement. That what was expected from the speaker was not what came from me. I was too different, and made the hard core of  the church organisers fidgety.

But I must close, otherwise I will tire you out!

Bye for now,

In love and light

Vx

UPDATE: Did as was given to me, candle lit, visualized my shoulders being washed. As with a lot of psychic experiences I have, I was mildly sceptical as to what was going on, which is usual for me. So I did not really expect this 'dark energy' to be removed, but as I say, I followed what was given to me by the man, but did not really expect anything to happen.

I slept heavily. Woke up with a drifting and lethargic state of mind. But what was most interesting was that there was a big cross of bandaid across the back of my left shoulder, and that the area beneath the cross felt very sensitive. I put my thoughts out to the man, but all I saw was his back as he walked away from me. And then a door closed behind him.

So I presume that there was a dark energy, that it was giving me problems, that I had carried the dark energy for lots of years, and that it was now gone. It will be interesting to discover just how that is going to alter my energies. But first, from previous experiences I have had from any  healing work which is done on me, I shall go through a few days of feeling not myself, like I would if I had been to a doctor and had surgery done on me, only it will not be physical discomfort, but psychic discomfort, which is very difficult to explain, but it is a soreness in the energies of my body, which does not give actual pain, but feels like toothache in my senses. It is the most weirdest of feelings to have, and equally as uncomfortable as actual pain.

Vx