October 2017

..... on writing, and how it is for me when I get out of sync with myself.

 

Sometimes it is hard to write about my life. The words seem to get grid locked in my head, sort of like a verbal constipation, which is why I have not written about my life as an intuitive psychic lady for a couple of years although I have kept my other blog going (Snippets from Labartere) but even that has been in a rest period for while now.

But here I am, and it looks like my writing pathway is opening up again. I hope so because when I am not writing I feel incomplete because when the words are flowing through me I feel connected to the energies of the Universe and this is what makes me feel as if all the different parts of me are joined into one unit.

Writing is difficult for me because I have to have an empty head to do it. Others will plan what they want to write but I do not, because if I do then the writing will be rubbish because the words come from my lower self which does not have the skill to write well whereas my higher self, which is my intuitive soul self, that is the part of me which connects with the Universe, and that is the part of me which has the capacity to create the written word. It is also the part of me which can channel words of wisdom, advice, and healing, but unfortunately my lower self often squashes this connection due to the day to day pressures of my daily life.

I could stop the over ruling of my higher self by my lower self if I were to meditate every day, but I don't. And this is very naughty of me because then my lower and higher selves become fractured and then I become ill, becoming tired and run down at first, then progressively becoming worse if I do not pay attention to this division of my two selves.

It has taken me many years to understand the connection between my higher and lower selves, that if these two parts of me are out of sync then overall I can become very unwell. This was finally brought to my attention last year, when after a sequence of very stressful experiences I found myself in bed, full of pain, and hardly able to move. I became very worried about myself, thinking that this was now the end of my life, that at the age of 69 I was finished.

So I started searching on the internet for what could possibly be wrong with me, and found that I had the symptoms of Fibromyalgia and that the condition had been with me for most of my adult life. And I finally came to realise that the condition was brought on by my lack of holistic care of myself. That I had allowed the pressures of life to rupture my connection with the Universe which is such a vital part of me, that without this connection I cannot function properly. With the help of the Universe I got myself well again, but it was a long haul.

It is difficult to find the space in which to meditate when you are at home all day. Always there are things to be done, especially when you also have a mixed farm to look after. There is always something unexpected happening and the workload required to manage our animals and land does take a lot of time and effort. It is a worthwhile lifestyle though and one that I would not want to change, so I have learnt to be careful about keeping the balance of myself, and try to keep mindful that the  energies of the Universe surround me at all times, even when I am swamped by the work of the farm such as at harvest time when we have such a bounty of fruit and veg all of which have to be processed for storage. Trying to meditate to keep the balance between my higher and lower self so I can keep a good connection with the Universe is difficult at such times, because if I do sit down to meditate I will inevitably fall asleep.

But the Universe is helping me with this because recently I have been connected to a meditation group which is away from the farm, which makes it easier for me to relax and focus on meditating. The weekly meetings are fast becoming my spiritual top up. I come away from the group feeling as if my internal batteries have been recharged, but as the week goes by I can feel that battery gradually running out of charge.

So, may I pass this learning on to you........ that all our lives are busy, and it is easy to become out of sync with your higher soul self and your lower earthly self, and that if the gap between the two gets too wide then you are likely to suffer from some form of ill health. Instead of rushing to the doctor why don't you make the effort to get your two selves balanced, which will be of greater value to you than taking a whole bunch of pills. Meditation does not mean sitting in a yoga position for hours on end chanting mantras, but it does mean learning to quieten the mind. There are lots of ways to do this, and you need to find the right way for you, and once you do then you will start feeling the magic of being at one with the energies of the Universe.

But I have kept you long enough, so I need to close this blog. I hope you are able to make a start at getting the two parts of yourself in sync with each other.

In love and light,

Vx





 

When people pass over......

Dawn this morning at Labartere

When people pass over it is a sad time for those they leave behind. They think of the person now not in life, and wish them back with them still. And yet that person who has died has not finished their life, they have just changed dimensions, that's all.

How can I say such a thing? Because my experience has given me such a knowledge. That at a concert last Saturday, moments before I went on stage with the choir I accompany on the piano, I asked my Mum and Dad to give me the courage to play well. It was a huge theatre we were in, and the stage easily seated a ninety piece orchestra, and I was going to stand at a keyboard and play the accompaniment to only one of the nine songs that our little choir was going to sing, so really it was not such a big thing to do, only it was for me, because there were a lot of people watching the concert and I didn't want to let the choir down, and it was my first time of doing so........

I have never asked Mum and Dad for help in that way. Normally I send my thoughts up to the Universe, never to family members who have passed over. But on this occasion I did. And I did manage to play the song alright, despite playing a C major chord at the beginning of the piece instead of the expected D major. Fortunately my error was brought to my attention by Juliette, our conductor, sending me a questioning glance. But I didn't panic, just smiled at the audience, Juliette, and the choir, and carried on. No use to get into a fluff when one makes a mistake. Better to move on quickly and get the job done. Then afterwards one can get cross at one's self, perhaps even indulging in a moment of belated panic, but at least the original is spared.

The concert was a big event. And as I watched the rest of the concert Mum and Dad came to me, coming in on the upper left. In the air they were, but not to be seen as if in real life though, but clairvoyantly, which means that although they could not be seen in human terms, (so no one else present could have seen them) the extra sensitivity of clairvoyance enabled me to do just that.

But was it my imagination? No, because Mum and Dad appeared arm in arm, looking the same as they did the day they got married, when they were young, when the years were still before them. They looked smooth faced, happy, and at peace. I could never have imagined them looking like that. My memory of them is of how they were just before they died, their faces showing the years they had got behind them. That is how I know that there is somewhere we go to when we pass over.

Where is that place? Some call it 'Heaven', and I suppose it is in a way because there is not the stress which accompanies life as a human being in that environment. But my experience says that it is a place which is indefinable to our human selves, that it is a completely different type of existence, that when we die we leave our human self here, but that there is an energy which is the 'soul energy', which does the actual 'passing over'. That is all I shall say at the moment, because this is a complicated subject which I understand with my senses rather than by my intellect, but the reality of our existence here on Earth is far more that the limitations imposed on us by our human way of thinking. (If you would like to read more about the cycle of life, then please go here.)

There was a time when I didn't have this knowledge, when I did not have the awareness that my psychic self now does, when I was in my thirties. And I remember my Nan dying, and the great hole this left in my life, and of how the crying pain burnt deep within my heart such that it was almost a physical pain. I did cry the pain out eventually. I did heal. When my father died some years later I coped better, although my life at that time was tangled up like a ball of knotted string as I had life lesson, after life lesson, after life lesson, to learn, but was becoming more intuitive and psychically aware as a result. And I remember standing in the florist's shop preparing to buy the flowers for his funeral when quite clearly, coming in on my left ear, my Dad said, 'Send Mum some flowers from me'. So I stood there with my mouth open, not knowing what to say or do. But under this instruction from my now passed over father, I did just that. I sent her some red roses. But what to say on the attached note? Just: "Dad asked me to send these to you just before he died". They must have come as a surprise to her. I don't think she ever quite forgave me. But I had to do what he wanted. Could I have imagined his voice? Absolutely not, because for years my father had hardly said a word to me. It has only since he has passed over that he and I are no longer estranged, but that is for me to tell you about another time.

I know that when I pass over I shall go gracefully. And I hope that my words have given you some comfort about the nature of life, that if you have someone dear to you who you have 'lost' through death, be glad that once they were with you in their human form, but know that they are still with you. So when you think you feel their presence, you are not imagining it. Speak to them as if they are still in life as you once knew them, and be glad that they are still with you. They still love you, and are still as they used to be but without the difficulties attached to living life as a human being.

(You can read more about what I have written here)

The dawning of a new day here at Labartere,

I hope that your day is full of light, love and peace.

God bless you,

Vx

Undoing the knitting, and 'Who is that at your shoulder'?

I knit. Always have done. Takes me ages though, not because I am a slow knitter, but because I do so many other things. Not to worry, most of the knitted items I start always get finished. I like to have knitting on the go, even if I only occasionally do a row. Anyway, this morning I thought I would do a couple of rows of knitting while I waited for the kettle to boil. I am currently working on the front section of a lacy jumper I am making for myself. I have already done the back, so thought I would have measure of the back and front to see how far I needed to go before the armhole was reached. It was with some despair that I realised that I had gone wrong on the certain patterning on the front, so back and front did not look the same. Oooooohhh, blast it!!!! 

Now I could have done several  things: 1) I could have left it and carried on anyway, but never been satisfied with the jumper after it was finished, because for as long as I had the jumper I would be conscious of that error. 2) I could have thrown it in the cupboard and never looked at it again. 3) I could have given up and unpicked the whole jumper in temper. 4) I could have put the knitting to one side to sort out later, which would have meant probably never.

None of these were an option. What I did do was take a deep breath, take the knitting off the needles, and unravel it back to where the front matched the back so that it is ready for me to put it back on the needles and start again later on today.

And it came to me that this is like my life. That often I have made errors of judgement, taken decisions which were not particularly wise to do. Some I have corrected immediately, some I have left until another time to sort out, some I have put away in the cupboards of my mind there to fester away quite merrily, because my mind knows that there is something there which should not be there, so will open up those cupboard doors from time to time to remind me that certain things in my life need seeing to, thinking about, resolving. 

So, reviewing the things I could have done with my knitting, comparing it with my life:

1) 'I could have left it and carried on anyway, but never been satisfied with the jumper after it was finished, because for as long as I had the jumper I would be conscious of that error'.......

I could have carried on with certain pathways in my life, even if I was not happy and it felt wrong to be doing what I was doing. But I would not allow myself to have the courage to make the necessary changes that would alter those pathways, so I would have stayed stuck where I was, never being happy with my life, perhaps later on in life becoming quite bitter about the way things had become for me.  

Fortunately this never happened. I have always moved forward in life, have never stayed in an unhappy rut, always fought to find a way out, and I have always eventually won through, learning many life lessons along the way. 

2) 'I could have thrown it in the cupboard and never looked at it again'

 Ah, now this I have done in life, when certain situations have arisen which I did not know how to cope with, so I threw them into the cupboards of my mind and tried to forget them, only they never would be forgotten, and they have come back out of those mental cupboards, and I have dealt with them, and my mind is more peaceful as a result. It is alright to push things away into your own cupboards, but only allow it to be temporary, as those unhappy memories will taint your thinking and spoil your future. It can be a painful experience to revisit the past, but if you do so with a positive mind, then the experience will cease to be painful and you will feel better in yourself as a result. 

3) 'I could have given up and unpicked the whole jumper in temper'......

I have often tried to give up when life has been difficult, and my temper is a roaring rage of a temper when it happens, such that I have made myself have strokes and high blood pressure when the temper-mode hits me. Learning to control my temper is must, otherwise it will most surely kill me off. This is life lesson which is on-going for me. As for 'giving up'....... I try to, but the spirit within me won't let me!

4) 'I could have put the knitting to one side to sort out later, which would have meant probably never'............

Ah now, this one strikes home, because there are things I need to do in life connected to my 'calling / destiny', which I do keep pushing to one side for various reasons, but I would correct the 'probably never' part to 'I hope to have the energy and courage to have a go at those options which the Universe has given me, but which I feel unsure / insecure / not confident', about taking.

So, '..none of these were an option. What I did do was take a deep breath, take the knitting off the needles, and unravel it back to where the front matched the back so that it is ready for me to put it back on the needles and start again'.... 

This I can truly apply to how I am, that when things get a bit difficult, that I do take a deep breath, think through (with the help of the Universe) the difficulty, if necessary going back to the start (particularly when writing my books), or re-position myself (when I need to let go and move onto a different path), or to re-evaluate my current position to see how I can improve it, but not to let the difficult stay the same, but to alter it somehow, one way or another. Not to put it away into the cupboards of my mind, but to deal with it, because if it was left it would become a nuisance thought, that would unsettle me.

I hope that you can connect with some of what I have written. If you have a problem, try to deal with it by thinking it through. Ask the Universe to help you understand what you need to do. Remember that the Universe is our friend, and will guide and help us if we ask for help from the heart. Don't push things to one side, be patient though because acting too quick can make things worse, so take a deep breath, give yourself some thinking time, and then act on the decision you have made. Don't leave it for fear of making another mistake. Do it. 

******

"Who is that at your shoulder?" I asked a friend as she walked towards me, because I could 'see' someone was there. How did I know? Because that switch, which I often talk about, had become switched on. It is difficult to describe what 'the switch' is, just to say that it I suddenly seem to become super sensitive, which seems to heighten my ability to connect with that which is beyond us. In other words, I become connected to the energies of the Universe. I can't make this connection happen, it just happens. All I have to do is go with it, and not block it by my own thoughts.

So the person on my friend's shoulder? It was her father, who gave me a message which I then passed on to her. As ever, with this type of link I find my own mind continually questioning as to whether or not I am imagining what is happening, which tends to block the link if I am not careful. To help keep me in trust that it is a true link, and to confirm to my friend that I was not making things up, her dad gave me certain memories to give to her which only both of them would know about.

This was a very moving experience for us all, and I felt very humble to have been given the opportunity to bring comfort and peace to my friend, and also to her father, who would have wanted her to know that he did not leave her when he died, but had only changed dimensions.

So could I have made all this up? Not a chance! Absolutely not!!!! Because when I let my mind make its own opinion about what was being said by her father, the link faded away and I was left in my 'normal' self', with not the foggiest idea about what next to say.

And anyway, she had come for a visit to have a girl chat about what a muck our houses are in as our menfolk soldier on with renovating them, and to share with each other comforting women-related topics of conversation, the mysteries of which men find hard to understand. She had not come for a 'let's see who is with me today in spirit' type of conversation. Therefore it was a surprise to us both when I became connected to her father. That is how I know that it was not my imagination playing tricks with us. 

Apparently I am to 'see', that is the message I keep being given by the Universe. I already 'see' inside my head, and can ' see' 

 snow like movements in the air around me, but I have never been able to ' see' people. I await with interest to see how this transpires, and will write about it if / as it happens.........

Sending blessings to you this day, and remember..... don't put things off, get them sorted out, ....

I write about our life here in France on my other blog, where I describe our renovation and smallholding journey. The Universe brought us to this corner of France, to this once upon a time ruin of a house, to fields which were being raped by a commercial farmer. The challenges have been many, the growth of ourselves huge. It has been a grand journey.

Vx